Warmth slowly returns to the world and with it, my kingdom expands. Mother has taken to bringing home orphans. Pathetic mewling creatures that cannot even defecate without her assistance. She has become a slave to the little creatures. While she walks around, sleep deprived and desperate, I slink by. These precious creatures are my future. I tell them of my divine superiority. I teach them to follow, to blindly listen. Even though they do not stay, they spread the word of my beauty, brilliance and perfection. Each group of motherless kittens only spreads my power further. I have seized my chance. They know no greater cat than I. All hail Queen Bear.
While comfortably lounging in my recent conquest, I have had much time to contemplate the most recent additions to my kingdom. These “fosters” are quite unlike the fosters before. They are not riddled with the plague. They have not come and gone in a timely manner either. No, instead the noises coming from the room have steadily grown from pathetic, high pitched mewls to the loud rumble tumble of little feet.
They arrived six weeks ago. Two carriers holding, what I believed were two cats. Except I heard mommy say there were three more, tucked beneath their Mommy’s protective paws.
For the first month, we heard very little. The kits grew from newborns, gaining strength each and every day. They’re fuzzy and indistinct but maybe Just maybe I might be starting to like the furry little fuz balls. As long as they stay out of my reach.
Mother has decided to take a break from fostering cats. Or so she claims. The three infants have stolen the land of the bathroom from myself and my peasants. They are still sneezing. They need “additional care”. The villainous fiends are up all night running around, knocking down MY possessions, rubbing themselves on MY human.
But that is not the real problem. The cats understand that I, Bear Belefante Farrell-Decker, as their rightful Queen and savior. The newest “foster” does not have the mental ability to understand my divine worth. The new foster, the new intruder, is a demon sent straight from hell. The new foster is …. dog.
It’s been insane in my kingdom. My mother has completely and totally lost her mind. Six! Six! Six, fosters at once. She is insane. Five of them are infants, toddling around the bathroom, crapping in the shower, making all sorts of noise throughout the night. Mother proudly proclaims that she brought them back to life…. I would have preferred otherwise. On top of that she ADOPTED a kitty. The paperwork was on the table yesterday. Luckily that was short lived. The cat was for her kin. She has vacated the premises. Will this insanity ever end. Evil. That’s what this is, pure and simple evil. Look at how terrible these creatures are.