This page might move into more of a fosters page. It’s l been a while since I last posted but here I am. Still here. Though chance, preservation or shear luck. Fostering has given me a look into the other side. Please join me in reminiscing.
Polly, my perfect baby, is sleeping at the foot of my bed tonight. Polly has been my baby, my foster for the last two months. She’s perfect and sweet and tiny even though she’s quadruples in weight since I brought her home at the tender age of two weeks.
Today her brothers were adopted. They went to their forever homes. They went to a good family who are going to love them forever.
Polly isn’t going to be adopted until next Saturday. Polly suddenly finds herself alone. She does not know why.
I looked down tonight to see her snuggled at the foot of my bed. This wonderful, brave, adventurous baby is sacred and suddenly alone. Unsure if her path, her future.
She came home with me tonight instead of staying in my office, the home she’s known for two months. My office would be cold tonight, cold without the warmth of her brothers.
For the first time, she is uncertain. She is afraid. She is alone.
She had such a bright future. She is brave. She is strong. She fought her way through sickness and strife, but still, you can see the depth of love, the depth of emotion that animals possess in the way she snuggles close to my foot. She knows my smell. She knows my kindness. She knows I fed her milk and cared for her until she could care for herself. I am the first scent she learned after the scent of her feline mother. She knows I mean food, love comfort. And in missing the touch of her brothers, she knows she is safe with her mommy. Her human mommy.
This infant, well child, cat loves me. She has a heart and a soul. She is brave and courageous and adventurous. Yet, she still needs her mommy from time to time.
Yes. Yes, I cried today when her brothers found their forever. They are moving on and soon, I hope they forgive me for giving them up. Hopefully their new people will love them twice as much as I could.
For the meantime, I will comfort my Polly. Let her show her uncertainty. Let her be weak. Because I know my little lady will be ok. I know she is strong. I know she can handle it. Even if she is scared. Even if she is uncertain. I will always. Always. Love her, the way a mother does. In any species.
Fostering saves lives. It hurts. Hell it breaks your heart over and over again. But it saves a life.
I will take a hundred heartbreaks if it means Polly can live. Polly can love. Polly can survive.